So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
