I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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