i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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