dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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