I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
