why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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