I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
