i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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