Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
