Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
