Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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