Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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