What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dignity is for republicans.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
