i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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