try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
