Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
