Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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