I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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