Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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