Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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