woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
