Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
