he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
