I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
