the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize