One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
