I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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