Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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