Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
