I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize