just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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