we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
