your parents love me but you hate me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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