Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
