kristin has been a bad kristin
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
