So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
