The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Boobs speak an international language.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
