This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
