I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
