Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He did a backflip because drugs
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize