She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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