Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
