last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I need moral support for this bender
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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