Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
