I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
