This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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