yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
