Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize