id be glad to
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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