My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
