sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
