It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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