So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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