Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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