I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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