Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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