I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
