rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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