I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
