this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We named our party play list daddy issues
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
