Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
where am i from again
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
