you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
