super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
