Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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