it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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