So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
