the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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