im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
