So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
