i already hear my dad disowning me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
