I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bring me that man meat
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
