How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
