p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
