do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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