woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I want to be your penis for a week.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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