if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
