you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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