I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize