dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize