I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
