on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
