I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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